Harold was an investment banker.  To those close to him, he was known as a w&nker. 

He bought drinks for everyone alright. But when it came to affection he was pretty tight.

Some say his childhood was awful. He’s mum and dad had been unlawful.

He thought that by making lots of dosh. He could convince people that he was posh.

But he had lost the meaning of life. That character is built with plenty of strife.

By making his bed silky and comfy. He was no better than a performing monkey.